Judge if you must

I don't even know how to begin this post, so here goes.

I just found out last week (her MD called) that my mom needs to return to San Diego for a follow up doctor's appointment and to get some diagnostic test done (just tests that are routinely done as you get older). Well as you all may know my husband is deployed and my mom is here taking care of Travis while I'm at work.

Her leaving presents the problem of who will be taking care of Travis while I'm at work. Travis doesn't go to daycare and cannot go to daycare since the daycares here in my area (including the one on base) do not match up with the times I go to work. The daycares in our area including CDC (child development center, on base) are only open from 0600-1800. I work mostly night shifts (1845-0715) and when I do work day shifts it's from 0645-1915! Either way, daycare won't be open on the shifts that I mostly work and I'll be getting off way past the time it closes when I work day shifts.

Getting out of work is basically out of the question. The schedule is set and on top of that there are three nurses on vacation right now. Also, Travis and I are going on vacation so I'll already be out of work from the last weekend of April all the way June 29th. Poor planning? Partly. If I would have known way ahead of time that my mom needed a follow up appointment prior to us leaving on vacation, I would have adjusted the time that I requested to start earlier.

So after much deliberation with Joseph, we decided that Travis will be going with my mom to San Diego for the meantime. He will be with her for about two weeks until my leave starts (last week of April). Once my leave starts, I will be going down to San Diego until we go on vacation (May 4). We're leaving from LAX so either way me, Travis, and my mom need to be down in SoCal.

Is this an ideal arrangement? Definitely not! I will miss my son so much. It's upsetting that my son has to go with my mom for a few weeks, but what can I do? Leave my son home all alone? Take him to someone who I barely know? I know he will be in good hands, but him leaving me even if only for two weeks breaks my heart and I feel like a horrible mother that it had to come to this.

I wish Joseph wasn't deployed. If Joseph wasn't deployed, it would definitely have been easier to deal with this.